Does love mean letting go?

Last Sunday, I got the opportunity to watch the film ‘Cinta’ that everyone has been talking about. Well, looks like newspapers and televisions have really done their jobs very well in persuading me to take an early trip to TGV to watch its first show of the day.
After watching, I think one part that really gave an impact upon me was when Rashidi Ishak left a note to his wife, saying that ‘Love means letting go”. (Earlier Rita Rudaini had told her husband that she loves someone else)

The poem that all of you will about to read has been inspired by this part of the movie. Okey, don’t think I am a ‘jiwang’ or ‘flowery person’. It’s just that, seeing this particular part of the movie reminded me of a good friend of mine. So, here I would like to dedicate this poem to her, hoping that if she happens to read this, more or less, this poem can help her pursue a new hope and life that she has been searching for, for a very long time.


DOES LOVE MEAN LETTING GO?

WHEN WE LOVE SOMEONE,
WE WOULDN’T BEAR TO LET HIM GO,
WE WOULDN’T BEAR TO LET HIM BE FAR FROM OUR SIGHT,
BUT STILL,
WHY DO SOME PEOPLE SAY,
LOVE MEANS LETTING GO?


IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE,
WOULD YOU DO WHAT EVER HE ASKS YOU TO DO?
INCLUDING LETTING HIM GO?
GO TO SOMEONE ELSE?
SOMEONE THAT HE FAVORS MORE?
AT LEAST MORE THAN HE FAVOURS YOU?


IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE,
AND THAT SOMEONE LOVES SOMEONE ELSE,
BUT YOU STILL LOVE HIM,
SO SO SO MUCH,
WOULD YOU LET HIM GO?
IF ‘GO’ WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL HAPPY,
EVEN IF YOU’RE THE ONE WHO WILL FEEL UNHAPPY?


IF YOU LOVE A MEMORY,
A MEMORY OF ONCE UPON A TIME,
AND IT RESTRICTS YOU FROM GETTING A NEW LIFE,
WOULD YOU LET THE MEMORY GO?
EVEN IT IS THE ONE THAT MAKES YOUR HEART WORK?
BACK THEN TILL NOW?


I GUESS,
WHEN I LOVE HIM,
BUT HE DOESN’T REALIZE,
OR HE PRETENDED THAT HE DOESN’T REALIZE,
BY RIGHT, I SHOULD LET HIM GO,
LET HIM GO OUT OF MY MIND,
LET HIS MEMORY GO OUT OF MIND,
BECAUSE OF THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HIM,
MAKES ME THINK AGAIN,
THAT IF I LIKE HIM SO MUCH,
I SHOULD LET HIM GO.
IF THIS COULD GIVE HAPPINESS TO HIM
THE MAYBE I SHOULD.
I SHOULD LET HIM GO.

Seriously, painting is not my job

I was so tired today. I woke up at 8.30 a.m. today, which is considered early throughout this holiday. I brushed my teeth and I washed my face. Then, after taking a cup of Nescafe, I went straight to my neighbor’s house.


Actually, my neighbor operates a room rental service. As she lives in Pontian now, she entrusts her house to my mother to look over. In order to ‘ambil hati’ my mum who has been cooking whatever I want to eat during this holiday, I had promised to help her paint a room of my neighbour’s house. This was because a new tenant would come in. And we need to paint the room to make it look better. Well, this particular room had been unoccupied for too long and the last time my neighbor painted it was about 5 years ago.


Truly said, I was so dead beat. Well, painting is not my area of specialization. And so does my mother. But at least she can paint better than me.


We swept the room and cleaned all the dust. Then only we started to paint the room. My mother said, it would take only two hours to paint the room, but we ended up almost four hours there! Luckily, my father came to help us with the last coating of the painting. I just could not imagine what time our work would finish if my father didn’t come to the rescue.
As a result, my body, face and hairs were coated with drops of paint. Well, this could possibly happen to an unskilled worker like me..hehe..


5th of December 2006

the ties that bind

It’s been so long since the last time I made a visit to my own page. Well, kinda busy with fasting, raya and exam the utmost important. But now, I feel relief that everything has finished. Yeah, raya too. It ended last week.

Now one question. Have you ever found a friend or some friends who can really function as F.R.I.E.N.D? I mean like hanging out together, watching movies, hear your happy and sad stories, help you when you need a helping hand, cheer you up when you feel down, boost your confidence when you think negative about your own selves? Actually, when I was in my primary school and secondary school, I didn’t care much about this. Yeah, I have a clique of friends that can really ‘go’ with me. But, our relationship is confined to school hours, as I was not in a boarding school. But when I finished my spm, got a place in college, I learned how to befriend with people, a lot. Maybe because I lived in hostel and I have no parents to take care of me there. Only friends that I could count on. Same here when I have to live in my rented house. I live with friends. And so far, they have been the wonderful ones to me.

But now I am not going to talk about them. It’s my other clique of friends in my hometown in Pasir Gudang. Actually, some of them I have known ever since we were in standard 1. While some in secondary school. But somehow, we always stick together. Until now. And believe me, once I get back to KL, I will start to miss them. So, every time Aidilfitri arrives, we would visit friends’ houses together. Whenever I get back to jb, I will try to spend at least 2 hours to go makan2 with them. But, arrrghhh…ok straight to the point, I am feeling sad right now actually. And that’s the reason I am writing this post. Guess what? One of them is going to build a new life very soon. What I meant here was, she is getting married! In less than two months time! I just could not believe it. Man, I haven’t prepared to lose her.

Is this a natural feeling a friend would feel for a bestfriend who is going to get married? Too bad, the other four of us also share the same feeling about her earth quaking news.
You see, when friends are getting married, the pattern that I could see is that, they will start to discard himself/herself slowly from us. Although this will be the first time my very best friend is getting married (that’s why I’m putting this as an issue actually), but I could see that kind of situation happened to my other friends, who are less close to me.

It’s kind of happy but sad really. So, we had planned a picnic together, maybe our last picnic together before she moves to a brand new world and role. So, according to our plan, there would be the six of us plus two bodyguards (our male friends). After discussions and plans have been made, too bad, we had to cancel it. Because the one that we are celebrating could not join, with an excuse that she had a tiff with her fiancée for hanging out with us this one particular night. Not really hanging out actually, attending kenduri orang nak pegi haji jek. And to avoid a further argument, she dare not go out with us anymore. She really wanted to go but it’s a matter of not to hurt somebody’s feeling.

For me, like Malay saying, ‘Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul’. I try to put myself in her shoes. Ya, truly say, I also don’t want him to quarrel with her fiancée just because of us. I know her fiancée. He’s an amiable person so far that I know. But many people say, once you get engaged to someone, you can’t be free unlike when you’re dating each other. This could be due to the fact that the sense of belongingness is stronger than what it used to be. And that’s why engaged people will have to restrict themselves from doing what they used to like, if that action will cause ‘sakit hati’ to his/her partner. And to even torture my already ailing brain, older people would say ‘tak baik keluar selalu2, darah manis’ Hee…tension tau tak!!! I just can’t understand. Okay consider me bad for condemning this kind of thing but this just doesn’t fit into my head. I don’t know. Most probably because I was not being brought up with abundance of ‘pepatah nenek moyang’ or maybe because I was not surrounded by engaged/married cousins or family members.

So, as how a best friend should be, I feel glad for her. At least I know she will be in a safe hand. And as I’m among the remaining two who are still not working, I offer her my aid in case she needs a helping hand or something regarding her marriage But, I’m kind of sad really. She is not yet married, but somehow, I could really feel her lost.